What to Do to Annoy Your Teacher Ad Nauseum

Students have this uncanny ability to get their teachers' pressures up to dizzying heights. They seem to find every button to push to make even the most ardent teacher pull her hair out gray strand by gray strand.The following items are the most effective ways to get your teacher to put in for early retirement.

1. Never read the board. There is a reason why every classroom has a whiteboard, a chalkboard, or if really lucky, a SmartBoard. They are there to present important information that students need to know in order to be successful in the class. It contains interesting facts like what you will actually be doing in the class that day, the date, what page number that story is located on, and what worksheet you will need to complete when. If you take no effort to even look at the board and then proceed to ask your teacher what you will be doing in class that day, you will be given the evil eye.

2. Never read any instructions on any assignment you receive. Instructions were put on the paper to give you things you need to know and what you need to do to get a wonderful grade. If you do not even bother to look at the instructions and then ask your teacher seventeen questions about what to do that could have easily been answered by your looking at the instructions, your teacher will require a quite bit more chocolate to get through the day.

3. Never listen to any of your teacher's instructions. Teachers don't typically talk to hear themselves speak. When your teacher is talking, knowledge is flowing out of her mouth, so while you are writing a note to the hot girl sitting next to you, you might want to capture her instructions and lecture. You are guaranteed to be the one to raise your hand and ask her a question that she has just answered thirty seconds before. All of this constant repeating will one day make her mad until one day she is locked in a padded cell rocking back and forth continously saying, "The story is on page 91. The story is on page 91. The story is on page 91." Do you really want that on your hands?

4. Act like a helpless baby. This is particularly effective the higher you raise through the educational system. There is nothing more gut-wrenchingly annoying than hearing your name repeated fifty times a day by boys who sound like full grown men. The best way to use this technique is to look at your assignment then immediately raise your hand to tell the teacher that you do not know what to do without even attempting to look at the notes that she has just wasted thirty minutes of her time going over. This by the way does not count the hour and a half that she spent making said notes.

5. Talk continously. A teacher likes nothing more than an engaged classroom of boisterous, intelligent young people. However, there comes a time when that teacher needs to actually instruct her students, which usually requires that all students are able to hear her and are not distracted by the hyperactive boy sitting next to them. Nothing chaps the tushy of a teacher more than having to stop constantly to stare sternly at aforementioned hyperactive boy to get him to stop talking. This and the instance where she has to talk at the speed of a Formula 1 Farrari in order to get words in sideways in a group of fifteen-year-olds are enough to make a teacher want something harder than Ovaltine.

The above techniques are not the only ones, but they are the most effective ones. If you want to spend a lot of time making your teacher insane, they will work.